I honestly believe that I am cursed when it comes to dating.
I attract the most random men that you could ever imagine. I’m not sure how well this will translate but I thought I’d do a series of blogs about some of the worst/funniest dates that I have ever been on …
Lets kick it off with a shit one.
I met John on a train. I was going home from work early one afternoon and he was catching a train to Kent to go to a business meeting. He started chatting to me as we were waiting on the platform and I politely responded (I was going home early and so was in a good mood) assuming that once we got on the train we’d go our separate ways. He didn’t, he sat with me and after talking for about 45 minutes he asked me out before he got off.
John seemed like a nice man, a fair bit older than me (40) but was confident, not horrendous looking and seemed interesting in the 45 mins that we had travelled together. I gave him my number and agreed to go out with him the following week for a drink.
We met in a pub near to where I work and the plan was to have a few drinks and go to dinner. When I arrived he told me that he couldn’t go for dinner now because he’d had a big lunch, Erm … ok. Making excuses for the evening to end quicker at the start is never a good sign!
Now, I can drink with the best of them but the way that this man downed bottles of cider really had to be seen to be believed. In a 2 hour period, I counted that he drank 8 bottles of Magners.
In my experience, drinking that much booze in a short period of time tends to give a person verbal diarrhea. Not the case here, he barely said a word the whole time I was there. To avoid any awkward silences I chatted away as much as I could, when I ran out of things to say I made my excuses and left thinking ‘thank god that’s over, I never have to see him again’ as obviously after that he would NEVER ask me out again.
I was wrong
I received a text message when I was on the train home telling me what a lovely evening he’d had, how lovely I looked and that he’d love to do it again soon ….
WTF? Hang on a minute buster! You barely said 2 words all night, drank like I was boring you and basically made NO effort. Yet you had a good time? Really? I’d hate to see you on a night out you weren’t enjoying!
I sent a response explaining that I didn’t get that impression from him and said that I felt he may have been a little bored. He responded saying that he was just tired. Regardless, I had no intention of seeing him again.
John had other ideas though and being a persistent little wotsit, sent a fair few texts asking me out again over the coming weeks.
Now, I have rule that most people deserve a 2nd chance. Sometimes on a first date you can judge someone too harshly, they could be nervous or shy etc … so I gave John the benefit of the doubt and agreed to meet him again for coffee.
Needless to say, the coffee date was worse than the drinks.
I might have well have been on a date with a mute, one word answers to questions do not count as an interactive dating experience!! I finished my coffee and got the train home.
When I was on the train I received the same text message as before, thanking me for a lovely coffee date and telling me how lovely I looked … seriously dude, you need to tell your face if that’s how you feel because it really wasn’t giving me that impression!
This time I didn’t respond, there really seemed no point. But, as the week wore on I received more texts asking me out so figured that I needed to send a response. I text him back and said thank you for the dates, that I had a nice time but I wasn’t looking for anything serious at the moment and that I didn’t think that we were that compatible. This is the (2nd half) of the response I got from him ….
His initial response was childish, mean and mostly focused on me being a ‘fat bitch’. I deleted it upon reading but this one made me laugh SO much that I had to keep it.
I didn’t respond.
If a 40-year-old man feels it’s acceptable to behave in that manner via text then I’m not crawling down to his level to dignify it with a response. I do still have it though, I read it every now and then to give myself a little chuckle.
Besides, I’ve only been single 6 years. Get it right.
Love and Kisses