Gangsters, Guns and Zombies – The Trailer!

The trailer is here!!!

I am the fat running zombie that gets a WTF moment from the guys in the van!!


Fat Zombies Rule!

Enjoy xxx


Banish Black!

I mentioned in an earlier blog that I am glad that the plus size clothing retailers have moved away from black shapeless clothing that covers our curves without flattering them. It would appear that not all plus size beauties agree with me though.

I had a conversation with a colleague this morning about a gorgeous Cadbury’s purple top that she is wearing, as I complimented her on it she advised me that she feels really self-conscious because it isn’t black and loose which is her usual choice of clothing.

Being me, I asked her why she felt like this, she told me that she wants to blend into the background and not be noticed. She said that she feels that when she wears a bright colour, she stands out and people will notice her. I responded by pointing out that there is nothing wrong with standing out and that she should embrace her curves, clearly this made her uncomfortable and she returned to her desk.

 This makes me so sad.

 Yes, as part of the plus size community, we’ve all been the subject of offensive comments and negative feedback, but do you know what I’ve learnt over my 32 years on this earth? If you are the person that’s covering up in baggy clothes and walking with your head down, you are more likely to be the person that is getting shit.

Confidence is the best way to beat the bullies (because that’s what they are) as it is almost impossible to find something negative to say to someone that clearly doesn’t give a fuck what you think and is happy in their own skin. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not perfect, there are times that I have a bad day or have too much to drink and get over-sensitive but 8/10 times I can brush off idiotic bullies without a second glance.

I was surprised by a conversation that I had with someone I know recently. This bloke can actually be a bit of dick and is definitely someone that I have always approached with caution. However, in this exchange he shocked me, he told me that he thinks that my confidence is stunning and that he admires me for being who I am. He is, in his words, ‘ a massive fan’ of me and can’t wait to meet the man that can keep up with me!

 I honestly believe that black shapeless clothing is a disguise. A tool that fat people use to hide behind to make themselves feel better. Well guess what? You don’t blend into the background and it won’t stop you getting noticed. You are not the ‘norm’ and if you think about it, would you really want to be?

It took me a long time to get here, but I am finally happy in my own skin. I’m not saying that I won’t get thinner, but I’m not saying that I won’t get fatter either. I will do whatever makes me happy. This confidence has meant that I have tried out clothes that I wouldn’t have even considered before and means that my wardrobe is evolving into something quite exciting!

If you are reading this and are thinking that you have an excess of black clobber in your wardrobe, then check out some of my favourite colourful items that you can buy right now …


Orange Sunflower dress


Clements Ribeiro Red ‘Joan’ Dress

 Rust Coloured Jeans

 I love these Jeans! They look so good on (apart from the saggy arse on me because I have no butt!)

 Simply Be

 Kimono Sleeve Top

 I have this in Red and I LOVE it, the tie makes it really flattering and the sleeves are really dramatic.  

Frock and Frill Bell Sleeve floral dress  

You can see the gorgeous Naomi’s review of this here

 Anna Scholz 60s print Tunic

I LOVE this tunic and it’s only £35! I get so many compliments when I wear it.

 Cobalt Blue Jumpsuit

Trust me, Try one – you might surprise yourself!!

 Yours Clothing

 Leopard Leggings!


 ASOS Curve (Even though I can only buy bottom half clothing! Boo!)

Flower Print Pencil Skirt

 Chain Print Dress

Want! So depressing!

 Domino Dollhouse

 Birthday Bash Dress

I love this SO much!

Meringue Petticoat

I am ordering one of these!

Curves can wear colour!!

I hope that I’ve given you some ideas of how to brighten up your wardrobe!!

 Love and Kisses

 Lyss xxx

New Season Style – The Results …

I had a lovely package from Simply be when I arrived back at work today, it was the items that I ordered last week and promised to review.

First of all I tried on the very pretty floaty flowery dress that I ordered

I love this, I think that it is really feminine and cute and the sparkly stones around the neckline and on the straps add a bit of edge to it.

I ordered this dress in a size 30 as I always allow space for my ample bust, but could have definitely sized down for the fit on the bust and hips. Iwill not be ordering the size down though as I am happy with the length and don’t want to risk the smaller size coming up shorter.

The dress goes down at the front and the back and so it long enough for me to wear as a dress. This may not be the case for everyone though as it does come above the knee and I know that not everyone is comfortable flaunting their pins.

My personal paranoia is around my arms, so I never have them uncovered. The only accessory that I had available at the office was a black cardigan from the So Fabulous range at Very. I slung this on to have a look and quite like the effect. I am more likely to wear a waterfall cardigan with it when I go out though as I think that the flowing material will compliment the style of the dress.

Next I tried on the leopard print playsuit – something that is VERY different to my usual style.

 I don’t hate the effect of this playsuit, I don’t love it either though.

I ordered a size 30 to allow for my bust and have to say that I am impressed by the cut. I have more than enough room for my ample boobage and the poppers are not straining to escape.

I am longer in the body than I am in the leg, this means that the first time that I tried this on I was suffering from a bit of camel toe (slightly evident in the pic – sorry about that) but the second time I tried it on I realised that there was so much material on the butt area that a bit of adjusting got rid of the dreaded camel toe and made the outfit more wearable.

I chucked the black cardigan over it again and actually really like the effect in this picture – far better than the first one.

I cannot guarantee that the camel isn’t going to rear its ugly feet again during the course of wearing this in the day though,  for that reason I think that I am going to have to send it back.

What do you think?

Both of these items are from the new season at Simply Be

Love and Kisses

Lyss xx

PS: Apologies for the work toilet pictures, I have no one to take photos for me!

New Season Style

My shopping addiction has taken hold this week and i’ve done a bit of damage to my bank account as a result!

I’ve decided not to ‘play it safe’ with my selections this time and have ordered some items that I wouldn’t usually consider, especially from the new season @ Simply be!

This is what I have ordered …

I love a pencil skirt and wear them quite a lot but this is the first time that I have ventured away from my standard black!

I’m not usually a fan of a hanky hem but I really like the pattern of this dress, I am hoping that it looks as good in person as it does in the picture.

Ok, this isn’t really a new style dress for me … I just loved it and it totally feeds my current navy obession!

The final item from my Simply be shopping spree …

Now this is a HUGE leap for me. I have never even considered a jumpsuit previously as I have always been a little bit scared of them but I love this one.

I am more top heavy that bottom so I don’t think it will look too horrific … we shall find out when it arrives though!

Delivery should take 3-5 days and I will do a blog post when they arrive of how they look … even if they look hideous!!

You can shop the new season Simply Be range here

Love and Kisses

Lyss xx

The Dating Game (Part One)

I honestly believe that I am cursed when it comes to dating.

 I attract the most random men that you could ever imagine. I’m not sure how well this will translate but I thought I’d do a series of blogs about some of the worst/funniest dates that I have ever been on …

Lets kick it off with a shit one.

 Dear John.

 I met John on a train. I was going home from work early one afternoon and he was catching a train to Kent to go to a business meeting. He started chatting to me as we were waiting on the platform and I politely responded (I was going home early and so was in a good mood) assuming that once we got on the train we’d go our separate ways. He didn’t, he sat with me and after talking for about 45 minutes he asked me out before he got off.

 John seemed like a nice man, a fair bit older than me (40) but was confident, not horrendous looking and seemed interesting in the 45 mins that we had travelled together. I gave him my number and agreed to go out with him the following week for a drink.

 We met in a pub near to where I work and the plan was to have a few drinks and go to dinner. When I arrived he told me that he couldn’t go for dinner now because he’d had a big lunch, Erm … ok.  Making excuses for the evening to end quicker at the start is never a good sign!

Now, I can drink with the best of them but the way that this man downed bottles of cider really had to be seen to be believed. In a 2 hour period, I counted that he drank 8 bottles of Magners.

In my experience, drinking that much booze in a short period of time tends to give a person verbal diarrhea. Not the case here, he barely said a word the whole time I was there. To avoid any awkward silences I chatted away as much as I could, when I ran out of things to say I made my excuses and left thinking ‘thank god that’s over, I never have to see him again’ as obviously after that he would NEVER ask me out again.

 I was wrong

 I received a text message when I was on the train home telling me what a lovely evening he’d had, how lovely I looked and that he’d love to do it again soon ….

 WTF? Hang on a minute buster! You barely said 2 words all night, drank like I was boring you and basically made NO effort. Yet you had a good time? Really? I’d hate to see you on a night out you weren’t enjoying!

 I sent a response explaining that I didn’t get that impression from him and said that I felt he may have been a little bored. He responded saying that he was just tired. Regardless, I had no intention of seeing him again.

 John had other ideas though and being a persistent little wotsit, sent a fair few texts asking me out again over the coming weeks.

 Now, I have rule that most people deserve a 2nd chance. Sometimes on a first date you can judge someone too harshly, they could be nervous or shy etc … so I gave John the benefit of the doubt and agreed to meet him again for coffee.

 Needless to say, the coffee date was worse than the drinks.

 I might have well have been on a date with a mute, one word answers to questions do not count as an interactive dating experience!! I finished my coffee and got the train home.

When I was on the train I received the same text message as before, thanking me for a lovely coffee date and telling me how lovely I looked … seriously dude, you need to tell your face if that’s how you feel because it really wasn’t giving me that impression!

 This time I didn’t respond, there really seemed no point. But, as the week wore on I received more texts asking me out so figured that I needed to send a response. I text him back and said thank you for the dates, that I had a nice time but I wasn’t looking for anything serious at the moment and that I didn’t think that we were that compatible. This is the (2nd half) of the response I got from him ….

 His initial response was childish, mean and mostly focused on me being a ‘fat bitch’. I deleted it upon reading but this one made me laugh SO much that I had to keep it.

 I didn’t respond.

If a 40-year-old man feels it’s acceptable to behave in that manner via text then I’m not crawling down to his level to dignify it with a response. I do still have it though, I read it every now and then to give myself a little chuckle.

Besides, I’ve only been single 6 years. Get it right.

 Love and Kisses

Lyss xx

OOTD Casual @ Work ….

I am wearing my new top from Simply Be today and as it is in the sale at the moment I thought i’d show you what it looks like!

Cue more dodgy pictures of me in the work disabled toilets …

Dress/Tunic –

Cardigan –

Leggings – Sainsbury’s Tu collection 2 pairs for £10!

Bracelets –

I love the colour of this gorgeous tunic/dress it is really vibrant and already today I have had 2 comments from people on how lovely it is. The belt that comes with it is true to size and pulls me in at exactly the right place.

I decided to wear a cardigan over mine as the pattern sits funny on my boobs …

It may just be me but I feel like the pattern starts going into points where my nipples might be sitting. Not that it really bothers me but it made me giggle so much that I decided that I’d break it up with a cardi!

The material of the top could be better, it’s pretty thin but it does have a really nice soft feel to it.

Should you wish to buy this top then it can be found here  in the Simply Be sale!

Love and Kisses

Lyss xx




Plus Size Fashion

I am the first to admit that plus sized fashion has moved on leaps and bounds in the past 5 years. Gone are the days of my only choice being black shapeless tunics and elasticated waisted jeans, now I actually have choice and boy does my bank balance know it.

However, there are still some things that the plus size clothing manufacturers do that drive me insane and I just wanted to have a little rant about it.

1. Dual Sizing

Now, I’m no expert but I’m pretty sure that clothing sizes are measured and created based on ‘real’ women. I have done some research (Ok, I googled it) and it says that UK sizing is mostly based on body dimensions.

WHY oh why then do retailers insist on making certain ranges in dual sizes?

If you are a size 28 that means that you do not fit into a size 26, so where does the logic come from that it is a good idea to make clothes in a size 26/28 which is essentially a size 27?

I would be all for clothing being made in mid sizes (Ie: 26, 27, 28, 29 etc) but the nonsensical dual sizing just upsets me.

2. Pear Bias

I am not blessed with a buxom derierre.

I have a totally flat non-bum that my friends do take great delight in mocking me about.

Some of the larger plus size retailers (I’m mostly looking at you Evans) clothing really does have a bias towards the pear shaped lovelies among us.

I am unable to find a pair of trousers that fit me well as they all seem to be cut for a more voluptuous bottom, which means that I end up with a big old saggy ass of material – really not flattering.

Another problem with the pear bias is the assumption that because I’m large, I must have a small bust. I don’t. I have a very large bust that, quite frankly, I want to show off.

Dresses have a tendency to be cut towards a smaller bust and a larger bottom half which means that I can be swimming in material from the waist down and unable to breath from the waist up in a lot of designs.

Evans are the prime culprit for both of these faux pas, however, I notice that there is a glimmer of hope on the horizon as they have introduced a new ‘shape’ range that caters for different body types.

I would definitely fall into the ‘Busty’ category and have looked at all of the items that have been recently listed with excitement … only to be sorely disappointed in the items they have selected for this range.

I was ecstatic that the Clements Ribeiro range catered for the larger bust perfectly, to be honest, every item that I tried on felt like it had been tailored specifically to my measurements. (I should point out that I avoided anything in dual sizing)

3. Below the knee

This pet peeve is about the fact that the majority of plus size retailers insist on making dress/skirt length sit just below the knee. This is just not a flattering length on most people.

I have pretty good pins, I have shapely calves, ok knees and a slender ankle so I want to show them off. The ‘below the knee’ cut makes me look dumpy and round and totally counteracts anything positive about my legs as the garment ends at the most shapely part of my calves.

The ASOS ‘Curve’ collection have been a godsend against the war of the skirt length. unfortunately I am only able to order things that fit from the waist down  as the tops do not fit me  (please start catering for a larger bust size!)but I have brought a lot of skirts from them that I love.

4. Recycling

I spend a lot of time browsing websites, looking at catalogues and reading all the pamphlets that come through my door. If you have released an item a few years ago, then I will know about it and I will not be impressed.

There isn’t much more to say on this particular rant but I just think that if retailers are going to ‘recycle’ an old look, they should at least have the courtesy to acknowledge that they have done so because it’s so popular (or they’re too lazy to design anything new)

Oh and Evans, I am looking at you again, the black and white spotty prom dress has been resurrected in various (ever so slightly different) re-incarnations TOO many times now.

5. Model Madness

Finally, I just wanted to have a little moment to beg the designers to start using actual plus sized models to advertise their ranges.

ASOS curve are the worst culprits, I’d say that the models they use are a healthy size 12-14 at the most. This does not give us any idea what the clothes will look like on someone with real curves, lumps and bumps.

Evans have recently appointed models in the various body shapes that they are now doing their promotion around. Frankly, I struggle to see the difference between them.

I guarantee that if you started using real plus size models (24-26) then you would increase your online sales as women would have a true reflection of what the clothes would look like on them.

In the meantime I guess all the wonderful plus sized bloggers out there will do this for you, I know that I certainly check to see if anyone in the bloggosphere has brought something I like before I buy it!

Anyway, that’s enough ranting from me!

Love and Kisses

Lyss xx

I have mentioned the following retailers and during this post.

Make me beautiful …

I’m sure that pretty much every woman has ‘go to’ beauty buys, the items that you just can’t live without. When I got to thinking about mine, I realised that I actually have quite a few products that I buy on a fairly regular basis.

I wear makeup every single day, as I have naturally dry and sensitive skin this means that I have to use a really intense moisturising product. Fortunately, Clinique have provided the perfect solution in Moisture Surge

I cannot rave about this product enough. It is a really lightweight gel (it also comes in a spray for holiday – LOVE IT!) that it soaks perfectly into your skin. I apply this every morning underneath my foundation and every evening before I go to bed to keep my face silky soft.

I know that for a lot of girls ‘less is more’ when it comes to foundation but I like a full coverage. I was a huge fan of Clinique’s Repair Wear foundation until they discontinued my shade (Alabaster) recently. I will admit to having a mini-breakdown when they first announced that they were discontinuing the colour. However, since then I have discovered that I am a big fan of Estee Lauder’s Double Wear Foundation

I use shade 1C1 Shell as I am a very pale skinned girl. This foundation is more expensive than my previous one at nearly £25 a bottle, the texture of it means that I need to use a lot less to get the full coverage that I like.

I also set my foundation with powder (I did say that I like a full coverage) and have recently stumbled upon Benefit’s “Hello Flawless” Concealer/Powder and I LOVE it.

‘Champagne’ is the colour that best suits my skin tone in this product. I love the versatility of this powder. It comes with both a brush for lighter coverage and a sponge for a full coverage effect. A definite winner in my book!

One of my pet hates is bad eyeliner, I prefer the softer line of a pencil eyeliner as I find a liquid can be too harsh but had difficulty finding a product that didn’t just smudge off during the day. That was until I discovered Urban Decay 24/7 eyeliner. These are, in my opinion, the best eyeliner on the market at the moment.

Look at all the fabulous colours!! I have this collection and I use it all the time, the pencils are soft and do literally ‘Glide-On’ Urban Decay got the name spot on! They smudge well to create smokey eyes and also stay on the water line … I think I’ve raved about these enough now. Just buy them, you won’t be disappointed!

Being naturally fair-haired, I cannot leave the house without Mascara. Without lashings of the black stuff on my stumpy little eyelashes my eyes look like ‘pissholes in the snow’ which is really not very attractive! My weapon of choice to rectify this is Lancome’s Hypnose Mascara

This is a thick mascara which comes on a heavily bristled brush and creates a really full dramatic effect on the eye. When I go ‘out, out’ I always wear false eyelashes but for day-to-day wear this Mascara is a winner.

Last but not least, I cannot live without Carmex. In my opinion it is the best lip moisturiser on the market. My preference is for the cherry variety and I prefer the tubes to the pots as I have false nails which get stuck in the pots.

I love that it smells so strong that people tell me  I smell of cherries when they come and speak to me.

So, that’s it, you now know the beauty products that I just can’t live without!

You can buy all of the products that I have  mentioned at apart from the Urban Decay pencils which you can buy here

I hope that you found it helpful, if you have any questions then please post a comment and I will get back to you

Love and Kisses

Lyss xx

Easter Sunday OOTD



Dress – Weird Fish clothing from
Cardigan – Last season at
Tights – BBW tights brought from eBay Necklace – Tatty Devine bespoke name necklace

Love and Kisses
Lyss xx

eBay bargain!


This is my latest eBay bargain which I picked up for £9.82 including postage and packing!

I really like the fit but will need to have it taken up a bit.

To finish this outfit I have ordered a red belt and a red mesh underskirt. I will be wearing this to a vintage event!

Love and Kisses

Lyss xx